The Daisy Field

I really hemmed and hawed about writing this post, normally, even though I share the deep and the dark, I rarely share the physical.    I don't want to be trite or be like oh look at me.  I don't want this to come off as some fitspo bullshit.  I just want to be accountable and open. As many of you know, I have always struggled with my weight.    I put on a lot of weight after my first divorce, I was dealing with a lot of emotional baggage and healing from deep past trauma's.    I am an emotional eater and find comfort in good food.   Then I got sick and the medication piled on a bunch of weight and hormonal issues started to rise making it hard for me to get it off.    Those of you have been around a long time have seem me try many "Diets" and then also seen me "Fail".    You are all aware of the immense pain I was in prior to my surgery and my inability to do most types of activity.   All in all just a big mess....but nothing prepared me for when COVID

I posted this on Facebook but thought I should share here.  I had hoped to be sharing my review of the Samsung Galaxy4 watch but instead I give you this....  A cautionary tale for you - unacceptable customer service and straight up scammery by Samsung Canada.  I have been a super loyal customer for over 20 years.  Multiple cell phones, tablets, electronics and watches! I have endured all kinds of razzing for not switching to Apple  but now I understand why I should have. My galaxy sport watch gave up the ghost and wouldn't charge properly after 4 or so years of constant use.  So on June 13, 2022 I purchased a new Galaxy 4 watch so that I could continue to track my workouts etc.  I made sure to register my product so I would have warranty and bought a gorilla glass screen and even a silicone cover for the watch face so it didn't get scratched or damage the face of the watch.  I don't wear my watch too tight but it's not loose either.   The watch  keeps track of body comp

 so guess what?? No brain tumor, brain bleed, loss of myelin or swelling!   No early Parkinson's...nothing out of the ordinary, just a regular brain up there!   We already know from the Endoscopy that there are no growths or polyps in my nasal passage or the top of my throat! so now what??? Why do I smell this mysterious cigarette smell, and why does Tom sometimes smell it now?   Just to be safe I am going to get a new carbon monoxide detector.   I think it must be a stress response, we both have been really tired and I have certainly had more headaches so for now I am just going to be stuck with Oh snap... I was just googling how to spell Phantosmia (smelling things that aren't there) so I didn't look like an idiot on here and it says common causes (that are not brain or polyp related) could be allergies, migraines or colds which we knew of course but it also says  DENTAL PROBLEMS. I literally just came from the dentist and he told me that the tooth that was hurting me the

Co-worker, member, partner, sister, friend, aunt..... and other assorted lies my body tells me. I know I have spoken about this before, but it bears repeating as I beat myself bloody in my own personal hell right now. Living with a non-visible illness and/or a not yet diagnosed illness really F&*(&ng sucks.   I am fully aware of what a flake I look like - what you think when I don't show up to a meeting or a rehearsal again.   When I say I can't/don't want to do a thing but I look fine. I want to be really honest, I am smiling but I am not fine.   I feel like crap most of the time, I don't want to complain to you anymore and I am worried.   I hate being the complainer, I hate having a messy house, I hate missing the thing, I hate not being more "on", I hate not finishing things or finishing them late, or falling behind or feeling like I shouldn't even bother because why would anyone care! I am aware that these are lies which is why I will try to do

As I sit here sipping my coffee, remnants of tears on my face, trying to shake off the last of my dream, I am struck by what a blessing and a curse it is to be such a vivid dreamer I have always had very vivid dreams and most nights I can recall most if not all things from the last dream before I wake.   It's like watching a movie.... Sometimes it's very vivid but shortly after I wake it feels like a faint memory and others like the Fire Train dream stick with me even many many years later.   The Fire Train dream was back at least 25 years ago and I remember every single thing, the smell, the colors, the sounds. When the dreams are pleasant, I actually resent waking up.   I feel so immersed in my dreams that I have even occasionally woken up and tried immediately to go back lol. I will call out in my sleep, grab for things and even once immediately punched someone in the face who was shaking me awake    I often wake up with a head

Its another girl blog....so if you don't want to hear about girl parts and stuff now is the time to leave...  Ugh.....after a series of terrible periods (try bleeding for 14 days), doctors visits and ultrasounds...I am back fighting it out with the Not-So-Cuterus....which after I saw this cartoon by  Stasia Burrington... I may just have to start calling her the Fuck-Uterus.   If you want to catch up on the saga of the not-so-cuterus, you can read these posts: https://taradaisy.blogspot.com/2019/06/be-kind-to-yourself-tmi-warning.html and https://taradaisy.blogspot.com/2019/08/silence-invisible-woman.html I decided to call the doctor about 2 months ago after bleeding for 9 days, I had what I like to call the shining... Every hour I bled through a super plus tampon and  pair of heavy flow Knix underwear (that's 8 tampons worth folks) and a pair of pants for approximately 26 hours.   Here is where the TMI gets gross people.... for each of those hours I passed a clot the size of a