As I sit here sipping my coffee, remnants of tears on my face, trying to shake off the last of my dream, I am struck by what a blessing and a curse it is to be such a vivid dreamer
I have always had very vivid dreams and most nights I can recall most if not all things from the last dream before I wake. It's like watching a movie....
Sometimes it's very vivid but shortly after I wake it feels like a faint memory and others like the Fire Train dream stick with me even many many years later. The Fire Train dream was back at least 25 years ago and I remember every single thing, the smell, the colors, the sounds.
When the dreams are pleasant, I actually resent waking up. I feel so immersed in my dreams that I have even occasionally woken up and tried immediately to go back lol.
I will call out in my sleep, grab for things and even once immediately punched someone in the face who was shaking me awake I often wake up with a headache during stress dreams....or do I have stress dreams because of a headache??
This morning at 6 am I woke from a weird but decent dream that I barely remember but had to do with shops in a small town. I had a terrible headache so I got up, took some meds and went back to sleep.
I am not sure how the dream morphed into what it became, but in the end it was this...
in the past been assaulted by someone and they had recently harmed someone else. I was trying to support them but in the dream I just appeared to be doing more harm as I had not exposed the person before. People were questioning the truth because this person was a good and popular person. I received a lot of hate and ridicule even from my own "family" (not my real family). So in the end of the dream I was at a home or building where this person's family was and the mother of the person said how can you even be here if they are here and my heartbroke for my response:
"You choose to believe that none of this happened and won't even acknowledge me, this is the only place where I am safe and unseen. I would rather be ignored than endure the weight of this any longer."
Anyway, I woke with this feeling of absolute despair and sadness for the women in my dream. I cried in Tom's arms as I tried to shake it off. Which always really unsettles him but sometimes you just have to cry it out.
I wonder what triggers my dreams, was it something I saw on TV, a long lost issue, a current stress, something I read or even overheard? Tom thinks it was the popcorn...sometime I am positive it is the cheese!
I don't know why I felt the need to write it all down today but I did....Please believe the people in your life....advocate for them and love on them!
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