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I have been thinking...

Its been just over two months since my Aunty Sharon passed away and today she and her family has been on my mind all day.   I was looking at picture of the kids trick r' treating and it amazed me how fast time is flowing the older I get.

It doesn't feel like that long ago when all of us would go out, I can still remember the layout of the house and the feel of Sharon or my mom yanking on our hair as we pick some "pretties" out of the olive green tupperware that was always kept in the cupboard just over from the fridge.   I remember camping trips, card games in the rain, playing outside till it was dark, eating fruit from the tree till we felt sick and so much more.   I remember trying to sleep on the waterbed and getting busted for chewing gum while "sleeping" by my parents.   I remember everyone gathering at Sharon and Dwights house in a huge storm and squeezing the puppy in the car while they ran back to get Tanya.  

The visits became much less frequent as we got older, and then virtually stopped.   I understand now as an adult why, but I wonder if we would have grown so far apart if things had been different, if we had continued to "grow up" together.  Its hard to think that we "kids" didn't do anything but have to bear the hurts of our parents.  

Maybe we would have continued to hang out and maybe it would have eventually happend anyway since we are all such different people??

I have been so fortunate to have some amazing people in my life for so long and as far as I am concerned until the day I die - Alison, Jolene and Kyle will always be my cousins.   Their family will always be my family.

I fear that Aunty Sharon was the glue inextricable holding the two families together and I grieve at the idea of not seeing them anymore now that she is gone.   I guess there comes a point in your life when you have to realize that too many miles and too many years and too many hurts may have passed.   You have to look back and know that you gave and got unmeasurable amounts of love and that it may be time for each of us to move on in our own little circles we have made.

I hope that we will always touch base through the years and I pray that our children get to experience the friendship, family, love and experiences that we got when we were kids.  Thank goodness for facebook, for if thats the only way we see each other children grow and celebrate each other's happinesses and tragedies, then at least we had that!

Whats the point of this blog??   Not sure there is one.   I just wanted to tell the universe that I am so grateful for all the amazing things that I have been able to experience in my life!   I felt these incredible feelings of loss and sadness today and when I write it all out I don't feel so sad, I feel happy to have had those times and thankful for everything that has made me into who I am today.

 So...if your a long lost friend....or even a new one!  Thanks and I love you!



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