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as the year comes to a close...

I reflect back on what I have and what I have left behind.

The last few years have been one of enormous change, sadness, tears, laughter and intense happiness. It has been a long road and I think of the intertwining paths that have come across mine.

They say people are in your life for a reason, a season and a few trusted few stay for a lifetime. I have recently made some very close friends who I hope will stay for a lifetime, and I have also recently had to cut some people out of my life.

I remember being in high school and having well over a hundred phone numbers and addresses of friends and yet here as I creep closer to the middle of my life I can count quite quickly the number of people that I call a close friend.

It should seem then that I would be less happy, having lost friends. Does this mean I am not popular? On the other hand i think of the quality of the friends that I have now. I am in fact considerably more happy now than I was then.

There are lots of people on the periphery of my life that I think about now and then, and I miss them and the joy they brought into my life at one time. I send out a prayer for them and their families and hope that I was able to bring a small change into their lives as well.

Most of these people I think of happily and know that I was part of their reason and season. There are a few though that I think of with great sadness in my heart....people who are no longer really part of my life because of a severed connection with someone else. One of the hardest parts about getting a divorce for example was the feeling of loss at losing half my family. Or when my best friend got divorced and we no longer had the connection to her ex husbands family. Occasionally I will message someone who falls in this category to let them know I was thinking of them. More often I will send up that little prayer for them and their family.

Don't get me wrong, I am amazingly happy and completely blessed by all the wonderful people in my life. I guess today I was just struck by the passage of time and the way that life is constantly changing. It is a bitter sweet feeling.

Each person, experience and feeling a paving stone that is leading me through life. What a crooked, windy, bumpy road it has been.

Thank you to all the people who have come in and out of my life and helped lead me to the place I am today. Now for those of you who are still part of my life, thanks for making it so much fun to go down the road to tomorrow!

Just a few days until 2010 arrives. So many cool things coming up this next year! I hope that you all have had a great year and I pray that you and your family will be blessed with great joy and prosperity in this new year!

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